December 20, 2007
"A day to be remembered "
Eighteen years ago today, I was at Saddleback Hospital giving birth to my third son, Chase Donovan Crawford-Quickel. I had already discovered he was going to be a boy and after two prior boys, I was ready...Chase arrived with the same demeanor he has today, some times grouchy, but overall, calm, easy going and ready to 'roll with the punches...' Had I known today what I know now, I probably would have coddled him more, verbally stated my love in an abundant way more, and been grateful more for the time I've had with him....Today, eighteen years after his birth, I reflect so happily on his ability to just be there without a need for special attention, relaxed, casual with his assurance that no matter what, everything was going to be okay. Now,here goes my tears....his plight with acute cancer twice has been a monumental feat for survival and all the above mentioned attributes have come into full play....what a man he is today and Thank God my boy/man has survived.So, let me tell you about his day: I awakened the boys with the announcement Kyle, the eldest had arrived at JWA from San Fran., Corey, son #2 came in yesterday from UCSB,and Cody got to miss school. We had lunch at Cheesecake Factory with the boys, Dan, Kelsey,Blake(Chase's best friend), and me. We sang Happy birthday at the restaurant and Chase was mortified. The boys took off to play golf at Talega golf course, compliments of Dave Foster, the General Manager. When the boys arrived home, they were given a 9minute warning and mom treated for Grandma Sue and the above mentioned entourage to get manicures and pedicures.There was much trepidation upon my required attendance to this activity but be assured every participant was happy and satisfied with the outcome. We got the entire salon to sing happy birthday much to Chase's demise. Next and last stop, Ichibiri for a taipan dinner treated by Grandma Sue followed by one last sing along...'Happy Birthday..." With all this, I shall Thank God for the fact that Chase made his eighteenth birthday and for tonight, we will all sleep soundly....xoxo,Kim
December 12, 2007
"Blessings"
Chase continues to thrive.... This Christmas will be our most treasured. As you know, four years ago Chase was diagnosed with alveolar rhabdomyosarcoma. Following this horrific diagnosis, Chase underwent an unsuccessful surgery at Mission Hospital, followed by an emergent flight to the Mayo clinic in Minnesota (of which we lost an engine on the way and lost a good day) and underwent another surgery to ressect the beast of a cancer. After a successful surgery, Chase experienced 47 weeks of chemo and 6 weeks of radiation. He met death at his door and recovered slowly but surely.... Last March, after experiencing extreme fatigue and horrid mouth sores, Chase met with his oncologist to discover he had the worst type of leukemia, acute myelogenous leukemia...Chase went through the worst of chemo treatments followed by a bone marrow transplant. We are at day 120, he is strong, adorable and progressing better than a dream come true. I can't help being tearful when I glance at his Senior picture, thinking sadly enough, how much my son has lost through this ordeal. God willing, he will live a life without a relapse, but the pain and suffering he has endured is inhumane. I will never in my life forget the words he said to me as he held my hand on the first diagnosis, as the doctor said it's cancer and Chase told me with a spirit I have never known personally, "I AM NOT AFRAID..." It brings me to tears to this day...What bravery, strength and faith. Chase has made us all believers and made his survival a testimony of faith, prayer and perseverance. This holiday season, may everyone wrap their arms around the premise of gratitude, sure we all have our battles to fight, but for at least this moment, please relish the people that are important to you, make good on any of your debts to others, be it emotional or otherwise, make the steps to heals any wounds that you have helped to create, do random acts of kindness and believe in the goodness of people.....One more thing, Pat Smith passed from this life recently and let us all send our support to a family who will spend their holidays without their beloved husband, father and friend......xoxo,Kim
December 01, 2007
"A Picture says a thousand words"
It has been a long day coming, Chase's senior picture says it all... Believe in miracles!...xoxo Kim
November 22, 2007
"A true thanksgiving"
As a family, we want to wish everyone a wonderful thanksgiving and hope there is a lot of gratitude being spread about. Chase took his senior picture last week and I personally had a bit of anxiety going into the photo shoot. There were Seniors coming in and out of the gallery as I signed us in. Chase sat in his car watching the whole scene, cap on his head, and then, his name was called. I went inside and watched him as he slowly took off the wool cap that he has worn all year since cancer and got out of the car cautiously. We did the shots and departed quickly. Chase had a few moments of laughter, you know how I love to milk a corny joke and we got a nice photo. I left crying and thought how different a life Chase has had since first time cancer in eighth grade. CHASE HAS BEEN SUCH A TROOPER, A SURVIVOR AND THRIVER....I can't wait 'til graduation day......As far as the cold goes, the doctor started Chase on a strong antibiotic but his cough and symptoms persist. We are being careful and yet Chase is golfing and fishing during this vacation time. This Sunday will mark Chase's 100th day since bone marrow transplant. I encourage all of his friends and family members to call him at 232-4136 or visit him. This is such a pivotal point in Chase's recovery.. That is why I want to emphasize appreciation, prayer , gratitude and thanks on this Day of Thanksgiving. Love to all, xoxo,Kim
Hangin' Out!
Mom, Corey, Cody, Kyle, Chase
Corey, Kyle, Chase and Cody
November 15, 2007
"Health"
After Chase and I met with the counselor, Karen Everett, at ANHS, we felt energized and hopeful...As long as Chase completes his classes with passing grades this semester and next, he will graduate with his class. Yesterday, he got his senior picture taken and went capless. His short, new black hair was such a beautiful sight coupled with a sweet smile, I thought I would just melt. On a more serious note, Chase had several friends over late Saturday night. I was so happy he was entertaining that I went to bed early to give him privacy. I was awakened by an anonymous hacking friend who obviously was sick. It was after midnight and I kept thinking Chase would be going to bed and the friends would be leaving. Needless to say, Chase woke up Monday with a bad sore throat. By Monday night, he was hacking profusely. Tuesday, we went to the hospital and our doctor was upset that Chase had been exposed to someone sick. He told us that although Chase looks better and feels good overall, that his body is far from being well. He also told us that the patients die from a simple cold and its complications. We were seen at CHOC for a chest x-ray and I almost gagged pressing the elevator to second floor, pediatric ICU. We are awaiting the results. If Chase gets a fever, he will be admitted back into the hospital. I am worried but remain optimistic, we've come too far....Remember no news is good news...but, I will keep everyone posted. REMEMBER to tell everyone NO SICKNESSES AROUND CHASE WHATSOEVER. xoxo.Kim
November 07, 2007
"Highs and lows"
I always seem to want to ask whether you want the good news first or the bad so here goes...Chase and I arrived at the oncology clinic to get our weekly check up... The isolation room was full, so I took to the floor. Chase was diligently doing homework so our conversation was limited. When we walked on the unit there was a small, petite little bundle of love throwing up in a plastic bucket that is so familiar to me. I listened intently to her conversations with her adoring dad in the hall. In the beginning, I felt like an intruder, an eavesdropping mom but after time, I felt she was there for a reason, at least for me. This little 'wonder' started praying for others to heal and all the while talking about believing in life, giving, and love. At a mere age of 7, she was well beyond my age. Her dad starting talking about others who were sick and her words of encouragement were profound. I sat in my chair, watching Chase catch up on homework and thanked the universe that we are here now, today, moving forward... When the little angel threw up one more time, she asked her daddy when they would get a private room...as we were called next, I felt so guilty..Our doctor came in and at 81 days following bone marrow transplant and 2 cancers, Chase is doing so well. As of today, he will discontinue all medications, with the exception of his strong antibiotic. We discussed Chase going dirt biking with Dan Naughton and that was an absolutely "NO." Dirt involves fungus and he is in no way ready for that. Chase will continue with hospital visits until day 100 then he may progress to every other week. We felt victorious leaving the hospital...Like we have finally turned a corner, life over death....Tonight, I even went in Chase's room....HE HAS DARK HAIR COMING IN>>>IT IS SO CUTE AND A SYMBOL OF LIFE RENEWED...I am crying as I write this..................Thank you, God....On a sadder note, Chase's home school teacher informed us 20 minutes after the euphoria at CHOC that Chase will not be graduating with his class. Let the war begin... I will fight the district tooth and nail and think it is absurd that it took us forever to be assigned our home school teacher and that he lost all the credits earned prior to the second diagnosis of cancer, etc. etc. So, hold on to your hats, I may be calling on community support...Chase will graduate with his class at ANHS.....Love to all...xoxo,Kim
October 25, 2007
"An awareness"
With all the fires going off, I have found so many others, as well as myself, caught in the depressive cycle of fear, anger, displacement and desperation. We are called upon to have faith that lives will be spared, homes/lands saved and a restoration to normalcy. It is so similar to the realization that someone you love may die.......So that is why I am writing tonight, to remind you all that despite the travesty of today's trauma, we have to see beyond the immediate crisis and focus on the days when we will recover ...just like a cancer patient. Please log on www.updateonpatsmith.blogspot.com and say your prayers for an amazing man and his family...God willing he will beat the fire and live a long, loving life. My love to the family....xoxo,Kim
October 17, 2007
"A day of mourning"
Today, Chase attended the funeral of his peer, Josh, who as many of you know died last week, 2 days after celebrating his 18th birthday, from a motorcycle accident which involved excessive speed and running a red light. I was filled with sadness coupled with gratitude that it was not my son today that was being buried. I can't imagine the grief and shock this family must be experiencing, please put the power of prayer in their direction. On a different note, Corey, Chase's older brother invited him to go to Mexico last weekend. Corey was taking a reprieve from UCSB and asked Chase to go. When Chase told me last Friday, I responded with the rational response, "No Way.." Chase was incessant in his plea, even though I reminded him of the dietary restrictions, the inability to stay in a hotel due to exposure to others and the poverty and lack of sanitary conditions in Mexico. He quickly reiterated his position by stating, "I am going." Needless to say, I got panicky and called the doctor. I told Chase it was in the doctor's hands... The doctor(supposedly) called Chase and gave green light go. Saturday morning, Corey, his friend from college, Alex, and Chase left the house to go to Ensenada. I thought I would be insanely committed. I didn't receive a call until Sunday night when Corey called to say the reason that they didn't call was because they weren't able to call from jail....With a "haha," he stated he was just kidding, but that they did almost get in an accident on the highway and that the Federales followed them and were going to put all 3 boys in jail. They put together their last $100 dollars and were released. Chase seems healthy, thus far, but that was way too much of a scare for any of us. Lastly, Chase's blood is 100% the donor's...While Dan and I cheered, the doctor reminded us we are far from out of the woods...Until Feb. 25th, it's touch and go....Enough tonight, a prayer for Josh and his family...More later. xoxo,Kim
October 10, 2007
"Hooray for fishing"
We've had an interesting week...Chase's counts continue to be low but he has been spared any blood transfusions so far. Chase is able to have his blood drawn at Mission hospital and thanks to miracles, the blood drawer actually comes out to Chase's car rather than risk him being exposed to illness inside the hospital lab. The doctor gave permission for Chase to fish now,with caution, so Chase, Dan, Bobby and Blake are on board 'Chasin' Dreams' in Catalina catching dinner. Cody has been sick this week so Chase couldn't stay at the house since he obviously cannot be around any illness. While this has been a challenge, all family members are together as a team. The days are passing quickly and next week, it will be almost 60 days since the bone marrow transplant. Next week, the blood tests will show whether his blood is still his or whether it is now the donor's. We pray for the latter....Have a wonderful week and thanks again for your continued support and prayers.xoxo,Kim
October 02, 2007
"Living Life"
I hate to describe our lives as 'normal' but in actuality, that's how it feels. Sure, we still have to deal with the weekly hospital visits and blood draws, multitude of pill consumption, fears of getting any sickness...but having said that, we wake up start the day with hope and elation that inpatient stays are in the past. Chase has a teacher from ANHS who works with him 5 hours a week. Chase has been recently given permission to fish, with caution, which is an incredible blessing. Chase tried to request a visit to Knott's Scary Farm but obviously, that was a pipe dream, at least this year. I know Chase's counts are still very low and we have a big road ahead but for today, the sun is out and we will make it a glorious day. To each of you, the same...With love, Kim xoxo
September 19, 2007
"Remarkable"
Chase was finally discharged last Thursday. The discharge orders were a bit overwhelming, as we have to create a sterile, 'hospital' environment in our home. In addition, Chase will access his own pic line to give himself 12 hours hydration with potassium every night through the iv machine. Chase will not let me be involved, he wants sole care of his treatments. This is a mother's nightmare, to let go completely and trust in the total care by my son, with a fear that something may be missed or negligence on any one of us, and yet, that is Chase's request... I will honor his wishes and believe in the gift of life that God has provided. Quick bit of hope...Yesterday, en route to the hospital, for our second trip in one day for blood counts and oncologist appointments, Chase and I got a flat tire. Immediately we pulled over in the left shoulder of the car pool lane. I felt very afraid and challenged. I commented to Chase about feeling like we were having a bunch of bad luck...He responded with confidence and stated to me a remarkable response, "Mom, It could be a lot worse.." Talk about optimism...Thank you, God...xoxo,Kim
September 13, 2007
"HOMECOMING"
Finally the day has come.....I am filled with the greatest joy a mother could feel. Chase is in the best of spirits as we await our discharge orders. This is the first day of the rest of our lives and we are going to bust out of the confines of OICU and celebrate...Skys the limit....I hope each and everyone who has been on this site will share in a prayer of gratitude and really make this a day of utter joy. We are so fortunate to have Chase alive and on the upside of recovery. We may still have a long haul and Chase will have very strict dietary and physical guidelines but it's all going to be okay. I am so happy to be able to share this news with all of you who have been so kind and supportive. My heart is bursting, there really couldn't be a better day, a better moment than this one...Love to all, xoxo Kim
August 29, 2007
I'd like to keep it brief as I am PMS'ing and way too emotional... Chase got a line infection 2 days after he was diagnosed with VRE. Fortunately , after the culture was taken, the antibiotic prescribed was able to be administered without Chase rejecting its benefit. However, Chase's counts have now gone down extremely low and the last 2 days he has been sick. This is a direct result from Chemotherapy and the line infection. Tomorrow, Chase will undergo surgery to remove the broviac which is the suspect of the line infection. He will wait until he has received 3 negative tests for line infection before a new line is surgically implanted. As we face this newest challenge, Chase remains his optimistic self. Today, we ride another wave and wait for calmness. xoxo, Kim
August 23, 2007
"Important Update"
Chase was diagnosed yesterday with vancomycin-resistant enterococcus. Check the internet for more specifics. As, a healthy individual, you are not vulnerable to this condition. VRE is dangerous because it can't be controlled by antibiotics.Chase got this by picking it up from someone in the hospital, most likely. He is now quarantined to his room. All meals must be prepared by the nurse. Any visitors can't be sick whatsoever, must wash their hands several times, and enter the hospital and go directly to room 307(no stops at the cafeteria). These precautions are serious because if Chase gets any kind of infection, he will not respond to antibiotic treatment. My heart breaks again that Chase has to deal with one more thing.
I am asking again for your prayers that Chase remain infection free. Rest assured that Chase continues to smile, make fun of me and play his video/computer games. He's following the Angels diligently and I pray he has his own Angels by his side. God bless all of you for your persistent support of Chase Donovan Crawford-Quickel. xoxo,Kim
August 17, 2007
"The Power of Prayer (updated Aug 18th 5:30 pm)"
The Bone Marrow Transplant took a little over 2 hours today. Everything went extremely well. Chase is resting and eager to begin his new life. Miracles do happen.
I'm totally shocked by the great week Chase experienced.. other than the first two days of discomfort, Chase dealt with the chemo incredibly well. Today, he ate lunch, played video games and chatted on the internet. When I left him, I told him he would never do chemo again. I commended him on his strength and told him how proud I was of him. Then I started to cry, he gave me that glare and so I saved the flood of tears until I got to my car. As I drove away, I was filled with absolute fear. For the first time ever, I allowed myself the right to be afraid.
Since then, it's been a tearful day. I distracted myself with visits from friends poolside. Pam led us in a beautiful prayer. When we finished, the phone rang, Dan was crying on the phone telling me about the prayer he had just shared with Chase. It was an unbelievable testimony that we are all on the same page.
Tonight, chase will be unhooked from the machines for a couple hours. He showered and ate pizza with Kelsey. Tonight, they will walk outside the confines of CHOC and gather together the strength for what tomorrow will bring. May Chase sleep deeply and draw on the power of prayer. xoxo, Kim.
p.s please enjoy the beautiful poem written by our dearest family friend, Lori ..
I'm a family friend who'd like to say
that your great gift has made my day
to give your marrow to this young man
unselfishly, and without a plan
but now you know the plan is here
and as the family holds him near
They'll think of their anonymous giver
and bless you for your loving endeavor
for people like you are rare and kind
and through all this I hope you find
that giving life is the greatest gift
and you are very loved for this
and as you recover from your part
please know that you are in our hearts..
August 14, 2007
"Update (August 13, p.m)"
Skies are clear for last 3 days...Chuck has been staying at the hospital, enjoying his time with Chase and the fact that Chase has continued to eat and no throwing up or fever...simply a miracle. Chase got hives on last Friday, otherwise he has been very well considering all the chemo going through his body. Saturday is the new date for bone marrow transplant, the beginning of a new life...God willing. More to come later this week...xoxo,Kim
August 10, 2007
"Tough Day"
Yesteday, after work, en route to CHOC, I called Dan and Chase was resting. When I got there at 5:30 p.m, within 3 minutes Chase began a long night of vomiting, a horrible headache, chills and fever. He experienced severe body shakes which fortunately were tempered by a shot of demerol. I never left his side. By 11 p.m, we were moved to Room 307 - the very first room we were assigned to when this all began. It is private, spacious and has a bathroom. I couldn't sleep for awhile, my restlessness was related to my son's discomfort coupled with my fears. Today will be another brutal time because he will receive the same hard chemo in half the time. Dan will be here tonight, Chuck flies in for four days to take over Chase's care. Thank God Chase has so many who love and pray for him. The room is dark and quiet this morning and as I stare at my strong young man, like when he was a baby, I realize that he is so very much loved and my heart breaks for his journey. The next few days will be very tough. No visitors please. xoxo, Kim
August 08, 2007
"August 8th update"
Chase elected to cancel the meeting because he feels adamant that the Choc recommendation to do a lesser chemo is the right decision for him. We admitted yesterday and waited for over five and a half hours in a side room on OICU, room 311. Finally, Dr. Sender, a well known expert in both leukemia and bone marrow treatment came to discuss the decision with us. By the way, Dr. Sender's specialty is older adolescents and young adults. He walked in and told us that the Choc team of doctors had met that day for lunch to specifically discuss Chase's case again. They all are in agreement that the fatality rate due to organ failure is too high for second time cancer patients who have already had rigorous chemo like Chase to receive the harder regiment. The consensus is unanimous to give the regiment that Chase chose. I started to cry and after the doctor left, I went to give Chase a high five but in the midst of my tears, he asked me to leave the room. I think the emotions shared were too much so I controlled myself and waited for a private time to let it flow. Anyway, we are on the road...Chase got chemo at 6 am after a long night in a room without a door or bathroom. The little two year old next door screamed all night and it broke my heart, as always. We will be transferred to a better room as soon as someone discharges. After the early a.m. chemo Chase got his blood taken every fifteen minutes for four rounds. The blood will be flown this morning to Seattle where they will test how it was impacted by the chemo. Then, a determination will be made as to the specific dosage of chemo. Chase received another type of chemo at 2 today and so far, is resting comfortably. THANK GOD...The next 9 days will be a roller coaster but you know how strong Chase is. Today, he gave me the mental stamina to leave the hospital with an optimistic heart and even a smile on my face. Dan will be there tonight and let's hope they both get some sleep. More later.....With love, Kim
August 07, 2007
"Grant's wish (Aug 6 p.m)"
This week has been quite a tumultuous one. Each of the boys have been greatly challenged by what we are about to face and have chosen different paths to deal with things...some healthier than others. We've had parties, or should I say the kids have, almost daily and truly nothing has mattered to me other than to see Chase engaged with others and free to be a 17 year old. Thursday, a majority of friends came over to send Chase off with a celebration. Secretly and creatively, Noelle and Natalie(2 of Chase's buds) came over and made our house look like Disneyland. All the colors were so bright and encouraging. Chase must have gotten wind that something was brewing and called and said he wasn't coming home. I tell you, talk about a strong willed teenager. Anyway, his friends called him from the house and put the peer pressure on him and he showed(THANK GOD)...The party continued until the weeee hours with many emotional moments. Chase seemed to have fun, especially after winning some highly competitive games of ping pong. We broke up the party and sent everyone home with a bit of sadness that the party is now really over. Friday, I got a call from Grant's Wishes Foundation, a volunteer organization who gives a wish to second time terminally potential cancer patients. They found a fishing boat for Chase to go out on TODAY...The yacht can easily take 65 passengers, it's called the Nautilus and is located in Newport Beach. They went out to lunch, his best fishing bud Blake, his special gal friend Kelsey, Dan, Corey, Cody, and George, another adult fishing comrade... Fishing was fun, successful and probably the best last day ever. By the way, Grant's mom owns the Nautilus...Her son at age two had cancer, and later at age eight got it back again and died so she started this foundation. We will support this organization, as well as Make a Wish for the rest of our lives. In the meantime, My afternoon fell apart. As you know, we are starting hard chemo tomorrow. However, it is a lesser protocol because the doctors are concerned with the toxicity and feel we should accept their recommendations. Mayo Clinic was consulted and confirmed late this afternoon that their recommendation are to go more aggressive. I cried my eyes out over this conflicting news. After numerous phone calls, we will consult with the chair of bone marrow transplant, as well as the top pediatric oncologist in the morning and then decide, or rather Chase will decide, given the pros and cons.
August 02, 2007
" A Dark Day"
It started out as a typical day....Dan, Chase and I headed out to Choc to have his port cleaned, routine blood work and then we waited for our call to the meeting with our primary oncologist and the blood marrow donor coordinator. We were called to a conference room and handed numerous papers to sign. It took everything inside of me to not get up and leave, feeling that overwhelming burden that somehow we are not meant to be here, maybe it's a nightmare and I'll wake up, the thoughts that Chase has already been through enough, and the ultimate sadness and fear as these experts are looking at us directly in the face and discussing fatality facts about his condition. I believe it was the first time anyone has talked to Chase directly about death. The tears welled inside and I tried my best to maintain my composure. When I couldn't, I reached for the Kleenex and Chase just glared ahead. He wants us all to be strong and both Dan and I will try to be in control of our emotions. The entire team of doctors met earlier this morning to discuss our options. Basically, there are 2 regiments of treatment; one is an extremely hard chemo that basically brings him down to a level that could kill the leukemia but after all the hard chemo he has had with two malignancies, the chances of organ failure are concerning. We've elected to go with another 9 day chemo that has several risks and side effects and may not fight a relapse as strongly, but will be a bit better on his internal organs. That was the consensus of the team and we have trusted them thus far. It is with a heavy heart, I ask again for your prayers. Chase will be admitted Tuesday. He will only be able to eat home cooked meals from our house or from people we trust to follow the standards for bone marrow transplant recipients. By the way the donor is a FEMALE who weighs much less than Chase. Her marrow will be flown in and Chase will receive the transplant on 8-17. As far as visits go, we will be giving Chase 24 hour company during his stay at CHOC. If you want to visit and are healthy, please please coordinate with me, as you can imagine structuring the schedule for the next few weeks/months can be challenging. Midday's are good, as well as weekend time. Remember that no news is good news and we will certainly keep everyone in the loop. With love, our entire family.
July 18, 2007
"Be it what will be (July 17, p.m)"
I received the call at 5:08pm tonight. Chase will be readmitted to Choc On August 6,2007. He will start the hard chemo on August 7th for 10 consecutive days. He will be sick and in a grave state of discomfort. Then, on 8-17-07, he will receive the gift of life...he will receive new blood from a donor we will not be able to meet for at least one year(if the donor agrees)...his blood type will change and we will have to deal with a few years of blood rejection.
Chase has remained strong, resilient and a pillar of faith and perseverance. He is a model for all of us. Dan and I have been extremely emotional lately and have rallied together because Chase is the example for all of us of blind faith. He fishes, spends time with friends, laughs, even dares to defy with a teenage attitude and shows me daily that there is an inner strength that goes beyond human reason.
In the travesty of life and death, there are those who draw us to be better than we would normally be, to exist for more reasons than we might be able to fathom, to continue our lives just because and to be grateful for those brief, yet important moments of life when we can breathe and exhale with love in our hearts. I am going to personally live my life through the vision that Chase is going to kick this beast and for right now, I will again focus on today, rather than the distant tomorrow...Love to all....xoxo,Kim
July 15, 2007
" One day at a time "
I know it has been awhile since an update, always know that no news is good news. I've avoided the site and correspondence because for the last week and a half my family has been living life to the fullest. Ping pong, friends over, bbq's, movies, dinners out, sunning, laughter....all the ingredients that we have so craved since 3-27-07 when this nightmare began again. Chase is FABULOUS. They blew off the fireworks last Monday for a belated Fourth celebration. We are not talking about what is around the corner. Chase will be at the clinic tomorrow for the lumbar fluid test. We should have news from the bone marrow donor next week to confirm the date of readmission to Choc. Chase will receive a really tough regimen of chemo for 10 days before the stem cell transplant. His hospitalization will be, following transplant, between 30-90 days. This will be our hardest time with all things considered. In the meantime, will live for today, make each second count and pray for a day when all this is behind us. We will be going to Laguna as a family next week for 3 days. Dan and I will have all four boys together and for that we are very blessed. Happy summer to everyone. I'll post the date of transplant as soon as I know. xoxo, Kim
July 05, 2007
"Celebration"
July Fourth came and went... Chase called with a 216 count and really wanted to escape his current hospitalization. I was told that if he were discharged, we would be putting his life at risk...end of conversation; Chase will spend the Fourth at CHOC. My dearest, Dan Naughton, came up with the scheme, (must I mention that he owns West Coast Event Services and that these types of special 'events' are his forte..) anyway, he gave Chase's friend, Jerry Scakun, who volunteered to rally up the boys, a good amount of cash to provide Chase with his own personal firework display at Choc's parking lot. Jerry bought quite a fine selection and he and a few of Chase's friends ventured out to make it a 'blast'. Evidently, the security guards provided enough of an obstacle and the boys decided to do a 'rain check'.
I was restless this morning, something was brewing and I wasn't sure where it was coming from....so I went with it. Matt Rainey came over to try and figure out why the 'ping pong table lights' were malfunctioning and to many of you, one might think so what's the big deal??? Chase wants to play pong at night and needs to be able to see the ball. Anyway, Matt had to buy a high rise ladder and try to understand the electrical maneuvers of a house built in 1989... His patience is a God send even though we are still a work in progress...
So, here goes the excitement, not wanting to wake Chase before 12 pm, I call the charge nurse at 11:30 am to get his anc blood counts... He went from yesterday, 216 to 2130 and he is getting discharged after a pulmonary breathing test... OKAY THERE IS GOD TO THANK IN THE BIGGEST WAY AND I DO PRAISE YOU AND THANK YOU IN THE HIGHEST... I drove to Choc delirious and I almost hugged the security guard at the elevator. I wanted to say, "HAHA my boy is getting a break and I will no longer have to show you this stupid yellow band to show you I am a pure fledge parent of the oncology floor.." However, I restrain myself, show a smile and skip my way to room 327. Chase is already packed. From the last 20 days or so of being here he has packed up all his belongings and looks at me with a glance of let's get the heck out of here NOW...I would have stolen him then, there, and at that moment had it not been for that darn test for his heart. I wanted to fly him to his bedroom, rub his feet, draw him a soothing bath, and tell him he is the bravest young man I have ever met...
July 02, 2007
"Relentless"
My heart is heavy tonight...Chase and Cody are currently playing a soccer game on Playstation 2 in room 327 at CHOC. Chase ate pizza from CPK for dinner and Grandpa Bob brought lunch and visited today. Yesterday, Jerry Skakun and Kevin Johnson brought dinner, Taco Bell, and life for Chase was tolerable. Truth be told, Chase asked to get him out for July Fourth. His counts are extremely low (12 to be exact) and he still hasn't hit bottom before they come up. I think we are looking at several more days in the hospital. I believe in distractions and for those of you who have asked to come and visit GREEN LIGHT GO....Since there are 3 passes per visit, please call Chase, or better yet me @ 949-232-4134 so we can spread out any times Chase has people in the room. Your efforts are well appreciated, especially at this challenging time for Chase. Enjoy the fourth of July with your loved ones, remember the people who are here during holidays, who wish for the gift of being free to enjoy the world outside of the confines of hospital walls. Pray for the day 'they' may all be set free, one way or another...xoxo,Kim
June 26, 2007
"Chase.."
Chase has the match confirmed for bone marrow transplant. The donor will undergo four days of 6 hours a day strapped to a machine for the stem cell bone marrow transplant. We have exactly 5 weeks for Chase's blood to get to the 75,000 to 100,000 counts to allow us to start the transfer process.
Chase has been doing okay with the recent third treatment of chemo, meaning the throwing up has been less then 'normal'. Chase's dad from Texas spent four days nonstop taking care of Chase and they had a real opportunity to bond and reconnect.
Chase is eager to get out of this place and so are we. Prior to the transfer, Chase will undergo 10 days of radical treatment including chemo, tests, and other mandatory testing. As parents, we will be called upon to read three books describing the repercussions of treatment protocol. Dan and I cried greatly today in anticipation of the next month and 90 days following the transfer.
We are all facing, as a family, the ride of our lives and most of all Chase is about to test the physical, emotional and spiritual journey ever.... Again, your prayers, visits, meals, friendship make the whole world spin for us...xoxo,Kim
June 21, 2007
"Update: June 20th p.m"
Chase has enjoyed a few days at home, especially his time with his brothers. Father's day weekend was pure heaven. Tomorrow, 6-21, Chase will be readmitted to CHOC oncology for his third bout of chemotherapy. For those of you who have stayed involved, this is a most difficult time. Chase's Texas dad, Chuck will be covering 4 days to give Dan and I a reprieve. Chase, will most undoubtedly, be the bravest and most strongest throughout this time period. Tonight I am blessed for one last night for Chase to sleep in his own bed and be comforted by the quiet of the night. Tomorrow, Chase will face hitting that elevator door to third floor oncology, knowing the rest will fall into place. I probably won't write again for awhile because as you have begun to know, we now know what we are in for.....xoxo,Kim
June 13, 2007
"Heaven (from Tuesday night; 10:00 p.m) "
There is truly a heaven on earth..tonight it's my house. My son, Chase, fished today with one of his best friends, had a friend over, ate a double, double from In and Out and is currently staying up late chatting with friends.
One of my favorite stories comes from the security guard at our local regional lake. Evidently, he watched 2 boys secretly fish at unallocated locations today. He thought a bit and decided they were 'harmless' offenders and let them be. One of the boys, Chase seemed vaguely familiar but couldn't quite place it. Later, he saw one of the boys catch a 5 pound bass and prior to releasing the fish, the boy took a cell phone shot of his prideful catch. Moments later, this security official saw the 2 boys leave to a designated area that was protected by a fence. The other boy quickly jumped the fence and the bass catcher attempted to scale the fence as well. That is when the security guard recognized the face, Chase Crawford-Quickel, the boy who had bad cancer a few years ago and obviously with his renewed bald head must be sick again. As he watched Chase try to make the jump over, he witnessed a miracle. His great friend, jumped back over the fence to give Chase his hands to step on and successfully land over the fence. At that moment, the security guard said to himself, what a statement for friendship, perseverance, love of fishing all mixed together with a boy fighting cancer. At that point, the security guard left and for a day in his career chose not to make a report. I say to whoever you are out there, Thank you and God Bless you and fishing.
By the way, hope you all caught last Friday's channel 7 news, or KFWB radio on Saturday, or yesterday's article front page in the Register about Chase being asked to try out the new video game, what a special treat for us. Click here to see it. Even though Chase likes to stay out of the limelight, it was so nice to see his notoriety at CHOC. Dan and I will enjoy the first time in years all 4 boys together for a day or two. That spells the 'Best Father's Day Ever.." May all of you fathers out there make your day about the love of our children....xoxo,Kim
June 10, 2007
"Chase has been discharged tonight!!!"
We will test his spinal fluid and blood, Thursday, for evaluation of readmission for 3rd round of Chemo. God Willing, Chase will be home for Father's day. By the way, his ANC counts were 972! Gratitude and Blessings to all- xoxo, Kim
" One sentence says it all "
Chase's counts have jumped to anc 300, how about getting him out for his 2 day reprieve...what a great Father's day it may well be...Love to all xoxo,Kim
Last week at CHOC... Chase was asked to play a video game called "RE-MISSION".. READ ON...
By Eileen Frere June 8, 2007 - The game takes a player on a journey through the bodies of young patients with different kinds of cancer. Chase Crawford blasts away cancer cells as he plays a new video game called Re-Mission. The 17-year-old boy uses a 3-D "shooter" to kill bad cells in the video game. In real life he is facing a similar battle. The Laguna Niguel resident diagnosed with leukemia two months ago is being treated at Children's Hospital of Orange County which is one of the places that's receiving free copies of the video game. Created by a non-profit group HopeLab, officials say the game is developed for young people with cancer. Officials say recent studies show young cancer patients who have played the new video game were more likely to take their medicine and better understand their illness. "The children who play this game versus a placebo actually have better quality of life. In the game, they use medication and other weapons against the cancer and in real life they doing the same things. It allows them to understand and visualize what's happening in their own body and how taking medication and eating right really does help reduce their cancer risk," says Christopher DeRosa, Cigna Healthcare. As Crawford controls the "shooter" as it travels through a fictional cancer patients body, the teenager says it helps him understand his illness. "It shows the bad cells and stuff and tells you about them," says Crawford. Officials hoping Re-Mission helps young cancer patients visualize their illness and fight it both in the video game and in real life.
June 07, 2007
"Cherished Friends"
As we all reflect on our lives, may we remember and be blessed by those who we let into our lives and hearts, the people that are there unconditionally and require no retribution. Tonight my dad and I had dinner and laughed, cried and told stories of our lives shared. In the meantime, Grandma Sue is holding down the home front, Chase is playing a video game, Cody is at soccer practice, Corey is studying for finals at UCSB and Kyle is running his vintage clothing store at the corner of Haight and Ashbury. On the outside, we might appear like a normal family..Let me assure you, we definitely have our 'issues', but like all people we continue to appear high functioning and we are. I am thrilled at the donor recipient who matches 9 out of 10...but do you really want to know what I want??? I want a 10 out of 10 match.. I do not want to risk any rejection from the transplant and I am going to still ask for bone marrow tests to be administered... If it were you, would you do the same??? I hope that someday I will meet you all and we all cut our bright red bracelets from our arms for there must be a cure for leukemia and when it is all said and done we will celebrate...xoxo,Kim
P.S. Chase's counts are alarmingly still at zero, please visit, but no sicknesses please...
June 04, 2007
"Room 325"
Basically there isn't much to report from third floor oncology. Chase got a horribly allergic reaction to the plateletes and got head to toe hives. Afterward, he received the much needed benedryl which allowed him to sleep for a bit. Our next door neighbor's screams quickly led Chase to cover his ears with his blanket and Dan was left to witness these emotionally challenging events. Palm Springs was quite the reprieve with many stories to be told, some of which are better left unsaid. I got 12 dozen roses sent by an admirer and that really was a boost. With the recent 9 out of 10 match for bone marrow, I feel less panicky and more resolved to moving forward with the treatments. Chase plays a lot of video games on ps2 and I think he would love any visits. Lunch or dinner meals are greatly appreciated, as he still refuses to eat the hospital food. His blood counts are at an all time low, so no children can visit nor anyone any bit sick, otherwise let us know or Chase directly. I am starting to recognize families and sick children and even know them by name. We are all in this together and I wish it was for a different reason. Needless to say, we are going to be so fortunate when Chase is sitting out at sea, catching the 'big one' and all this is a long past memory..Together in faith, xoxo,Kim
May 31, 2007
"Debauchery"
Sorry for the delay in information but waiting for some kind of news....Anyway, I thought a list of events would suffice so here goes:
1. They think they have a bone marrow match..The potential match has 9 out of 10 features that match Chase and there may even be a back up.
2. The hospital Psychologist came to evaluate Chase because the 'team' thought he was clinically depressed. After her intake, she has deemed his emotions are within the realm of normalcy given what he is currently dealing with. For example, he has refused visits because he doesn't want his 'people' to see him so sick.
3. Chase is back today at being a 'regular teenager,' he rolls his eyes at my jokes and is enjoying watching the Angels tie 1 to 1(at time of writing)
4. Chase's brother, Corey, is coming into town tomorrow to spend the weekend seeing Chase and helping Dan and I out.
5. I got in the elevator to hear two interns discussing their 3 new patients, 2 newborns with cancer and a 4 month old...Maybe life isn't so bad
6.The girl next door screamed all night, I dreamt of her and thought I would grab her and give her my life to reduce whatever pain she must be in.
7. I woke up and snuck out early, the traffic was horrific and as I arrived at 7am at my office, I accidentally threw my diet pepsi away with my cell phone. In the midst of counseling, I retraced my steps(as my dad has always taught me to do) and I remembered the diet pepsi. I hurriedly went and searched the trash, only to find my cell phone at the bottom of the can covered in diet pepsi. I got a new phone today, only option bright red.. Go Figure.
8. Last night, I went for a taco, fell off a stool and today waited 3 hours to see an orthopedic surgeon.. I broke my tailbone.
With all this news, you are probably thinking, my "aura" may be contagious. No worries, I am leaving for 2 days for Palm Springs for a much needed mental reprieve. I can't figure out why people keep cancelling out on plans, do you think my karma may get them?? Anyway, no pity party for me, right now Chase just smiled and that makes my world go round. My love to all of you...xoxo..Kim
more from room 325... okeydokey all you 'spongebob' party people...I met the real live spongebob dude at the hospital radiololipop activity sponsored by sunshine kids, dedicated to kids with cancer...(This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
May 26, 2007
"TGIF"
So, if this truly is 'my journal' and Chase calls this 'my website' then here goes....I left the hospital early this morning, knowing Chase was feeling horrible. He threw up during the day before, he hasn't showered, and his mood is at a low. He reminds me that he is in the hospital and has the diagnosis he has and basically, the interpretation is, 'Give me a break, I have a right to be miserable and be depressed, grouchy and less than hospitable. I couldn't agree with him more... The cardiologist is monitoring his heart because the rate is so low due to the chemotherapy. The echogram and ekg came out fine today and the rate is slowly improving.
Lori Midtsatre gave out 10 more bone marrow test kits to Ellen Small and her entourage so we are actively pursuing options. It may take a million pursuits but we are committed to finding a bone marrow volunteer. Christine Ballard has a birthday so all the girls went for an early dinner. She is a breast cancer survivor whom I walk 5.2 miles with every Saturday. She gives me so much joy and laughing together gives a bit of lightheartedness to my world. I tell her hysterical real life stories every week and she has to guess which are true. Why am I telling you all this??? Because you are getting to know our lives and that in ,of itself, means being vulnerable... Which to me, inevitably, means that there may be future times I may have to ask for help. For now, we need a bone marrow donor.
On my way back to the hospital, Chase said he'd eat Taco Bell. You'd think I won the lottery, seriously...I went through the drive up, ordered 3 crunchy beef tacos, no lettuce, cinnamon twists. CHASE ATE EVERYTHING...He joked with me tonight and for a mere moment I felt the light come back in my soul. For that, I am eternally grateful. Maybe the upswing is on the horizon, for Chase's sake, he is due...God willing, we'll be there sooner than later. Check with Chase directly, I am thinking he may start to be up for visits. Grandpa Bob got to visit today while Grandma Sue holds down the homefront with Cody and the house. With that being said, you are up to date, tonight I think I'll sleep a bit lighter in our little corner of the world, may you too..Good night from room 325....xoxo,Kim
May 24, 2007
"The Power of Prayer"
As we all approach Memorial weekend, I hope you will honor anyone you know or/and even a stranger who unfolds their duty for our country and please say a word of gratitude. As I look at all the travisty in the world, I am moved to appreciate the people who really have or are willing to make a difference. I am sitting in a little corner of the world, room 325, and Chase is playing a basketball game on playstation 2. He hasn't thrown up in awhile and his fever is within normal range. The chemo ended at 3:30 am. He has started the 'liquid lasagna' fluids since he hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. He is different this round of chemo, more in need of silence, and a bit angry and depressed. Disneyland may be the 'best place on earth', but this third floor oncology really is the worst place on earth. The crying babies, the baldness, the devasted family members...Yet there is an "aura" of hope and nonverbal support which seems to spread among this 'third' floor, we are in this together...and what a montra for all of our lives, "WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER.." Whatever that means to you, let it be known this special 'Memorial weekend'. With love, xoxo,Kim
May 23, 2007
"Bone Marrow"
Chase has been very sick and weak. He hasn't eaten in 8 days. He has been vomiting and finally this morning broke his fever(due to the line infection newly acquired). His mood is poor but like he said in defense of his disposition," I've had chemicals pumped through my body for days, what do you expect." At my stay tonight, he has asked for silence. I will respect his wishes. What I really want to do is wrap my arms around my son, curl up in his bed and promise him everything will be alright. Can't write anymore, too tearful..xoxo,Kim..Please contact Lori Midtsatre directly for bone marrow info, now I am calling for help...
May 20, 2007
"Local Bone Marrow Donor Info for Wed, May 23rd"
NOTE: There is a Bone Marrow Donor Drive on WEDNESDAY, MAY 23rd at the UCI Campus between 5:00 p.m and 6:30 p.m.
Drive Location: Uc Irvine
Address: Campus & Culver
Irvine, CA 92697
Physical Science Bldg. #413
Room 120
Drive Date: May 23 2007
Drive Time: 5:00PM - 6:30PM
Cost: Priceless! (0 for you!)
For the UCI campus map,Click Here... Find F5 on the map and Zoom in to find bldg. 413. Then you can see which roads lead to it.
If it will be difficult for you to get there on Wednesday, but you do want to be a donor, please email Lori or call 949-369-5900 X 3117 as soon as possible. She can get free kits and the test can be done here in Laguna Niguel! It's that easy!
This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
if using the link gives you trouble.
NOTE: If you aren't a match for Chase, then you can stay on the registry in hopes of helping another. If the National Registry is something you would rather not do, once your tissue type is determined, you can always choose NOT to be on the registry.
There is no commitment unless you choose to but in order to find out if you are a match, you'll need to be added to the National Registry, at least temporarily. The family is very thankful and appreciates all the love and support that has been shown in donating/registering or helping to find a marrow donor. If you have any specific questions about how it works, email or call Lori and she'll be happy to explain how easy the process is. Thanks!
Chase's World
Due to my sickness, I am still unable to see our son. I called him crying the other day and he told me he couldn't talk to me if I cried. I apologized and hung up.
May 16, 2007
"Back to reality"
Chase was admitted this morning to icu oncology. Due to a lack of beds, he was assigned a room in the middle of the floor that has no bathroom and no doors(Room 311). He wasn't allowed to eat because he had the lumbar tap, spinal fluid checked and chemo to the spine. Afterward, he began the hard chemo and immediately got very sick. The doctors can't figure out why at this point, so they are evaluating a lesser dosage. In the meantime, I hit a car, fought with Dan and can't see Chase because of this darn cold. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. Here's to a rainbow, we could really use it. xoxo,Kim .. p.s. Please no hospital visits at this time and please no calls to parents unless urgent. As far as Chase goes, check with him in terms of calls/text messages. xoxo
May 15, 2007
"Round Two"
I haven't written in a bit because Chase has been at home and time with him has been so precious that writing was even hard to fit in. As you all know, Chase was discharged for a 2 day reprieve which turned into a 10 day break due to his low blood counts. He has taken full advantage of this time by fishing like a fiend, spending time with friends and family and altogether leading a 'normal' life.Given the circumstances of his condition, Chase has done such an amazing job with his attitude and level of activity. In fact, after having the most wonderful Mother's Day with the boys, the 3 brothers decided to go aboard an overnighter fishing trip. Corey, Chase and Cody caught white sea bass and Chase also landed a yellowtail. Tonight, we will dine on fresh fish and I'll get to listen to some fish tales.
Tomorrow, regardless of the blood, Chase will be admitted to CHOC, all beds are full so by midday one should become available. Chase will then begin 8 days straight of hard chemo and then, we will spend the next few weeks recooperating like before. We have mixed feelings on the day tomorrow, we have lost almost 2 weeks due to infection and low counts, but the great thing has been the quality of life Chase has enjoyed. I am looking at this past 10 days as a blessing, to build all our resources before we begin again to fight and kill all the leukemia.
Chase's Texas dad took time to come and stay at the house and be with all 4 of the boys. Dan took off for Mexico and was allowed some time to relax. I caught a nasty cold which kept me a bit under the weather but in reality, I was able to get sick without worry of the kids care. Mother's Day gave me time outdoors with my boys (Kyle the oldest flew back to San Fran the day before) to reflect on how grateful we all have to be for those moments in time when the world seems to stop so we can breathe and actually appreciate the simplist of gifts, the love of family and friends as well. We'll be in touch..xoxo,Kim
May 08, 2007
"Let's talk fish - Monday, May 7th at midnight -"
Okeydokey.. So, I was so sure Chase would get out last Friday, May 4th. I get the call on Thursday afternoon from Chase direct, "Where are you mom and can you come get me...?" Under normal circumstances, that is a parents dream, right? call me, tell me where you're at and need me to be the designated driver..right??? Well, it so happens I am en route for my mother's 70th birthday, aka Grandma Sue heading for Palm Springs for some fun.... Anyway, there are a hundred stories to follow if you are ever interested .. The most important being, my lovely son, Chase. (Click the link at the top or "link" below to get the rest of the story)
May 03, 2007
"OUTRAGEOUS,SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPEALIDOCIOUS, THE EPITOME OF A GREAT DAY!!!!!!"
As I write, I am so so thrilled as well as a balling basket case. Chase is being discharged. By the grace of God, he will sleep in his bed, eat a home cooked meal and head for the high seas to catch(and release) some fish. The head nurse has reminded us repeatedly that if he spikes a fever or gets a cut, he is back bound to oncology icu. God, please grant our son a brief reprieve before we return Monday morning for the second treatment. I AM ON THE BIGGEST HIGH OF MY LIFE. Our young man is free for now. Hug your kids today, hold them a little tighter, light a candle today, scream for us out loud, make a difference on this very, very special day. And to George and Joayn, thank you especially for being the best today and always, your support and presence in Chase's life is unbelievable...Love to all, Kim and Dan and the entire world who cares.....
May 02, 2007
"Awesome news! "
DO THE WAVE!!!! Chase's anc is 855 today, that's over the 500 mark we were shooting for. I am ecstatic and we have all your good thoughts and prayers to thank for these awesome results. Chase will have to undergo bone marrow tests tomorrow and if it's clear, he'll discharge Friday. Then watch out, fish, you are about to meet your match..Let's have some sunshine, calm waters and may Dan and Chase have the best ever fishing weekend to date. Today, my tears are ones of joy and I could care less if anyone calls me a cry baby. Monday, Chase will be readmitted to icu oncology for the second bout of chemo. Until then, we'll throw caution to the wind and by the way, I am sure I will have some fantastic fish tales to share. Until then, God bless all of you. Big xoxo, Kim
May 01, 2007
"Good News"
We are waiting for Chase's anc(an overall blood score) to get to 500 so he can go home for the 2 days before we return for hard chemo. The last few days were 25, 32, and 45. Today we are 150. Hooray and yippee!!!!! Let's pray for Chase to be fishing by the weekend, how's that for an appropriate Cinco de Mayo celebration..We'll keep you posted. Adios, Kim
April 27, 2007
"Chase update..can you spell perseverance???"
Chase update..can you spell perseverance???
Hello from oncology icu. Chase broke his fever and is getting better. He has received blood and platelets daily and again, thank you to all for your blood donations. Chase's older brother came in from San Francisco today and they did an art project together. Chase painted a boat and Kyle did a lighthouse. It is still a work in progress, which is what I call life these days. It has been one month since Chase was hospitalized for a.m.l. Life before, seems a blur. Dan and I have become so accustomed to living at the hospital that we really do have it down pact. Your visits have given us comfort in knowing that Chase has a bit of distraction from this third floor oncology. I have been more tearful lately and I think all the family members have been more angry and depressed. When I run into people, I try to be the best I can be, but frankly we are exhausted. I don't mean to complain but this is definitely tougher this bout of cancer. Maybe it's the reality that this truly is the most challenged we have ever been. I am trying to keep all the pieces together and sometimes, keeping my head above the surface seems unbearable. You know what keeps all of us going???? The inspiration of a 17 year old named Chase who has to deal with this every single second. His bravery, perseverance and refusal to accept any alternative than life humbles me and has taught me so much about faith. May he inspire all of you in many ways. Love to all of you..xoxo,Kim
April 21, 2007
"Chase"
Sorry to share that Chase is very sick. He peaked last night with a 103 fever and has severe vomiting. He caught an infection and is currently on I.V. antibiotics. In addition, he is receiving blood as well as anti-nausea/pain medication.
Life without tubes was short lived; however, in due time with Chase's attitude and strength we are hopeful he will be back to feeling better soon. Hopefully we'll get there sooner then later. xoxo, Kim
April 19, 2007
"update on April 18th; 8:57 PM"
As many of you will recall from Chase's last bout with cancer, when there is no news it is probably good news. When I walked in the room tonight, I had an amazing visual. Chase had not one tube coming out of his body. He is free today of all lines meaning no pain meds, no blood transfusions or platelets, no artificial food supplements, no antibiotic drip, just my son playing a video game with a beautiful bald head and a sense of humor to go with. In addition, the preliminary results from his lumbar fluid tap from yesterday indicate no leukemia in the spine.I am so enjoying these last few days without the chemo and a return of 'somewhat normalcy' for Chase.
On another note, both Corey and Kyle have been determined to not be candidates for bone marrow transplant. We will have Chase on the international search for a 10 out of 10 bone marrow match. If you are interested in looking into being a candidate, please go to www.marrow.org. It is an easy blood donation but may require that if you end up deciding to donate, you may be asked to give your blood for other needy recipients if you and Chase are not a match.
Check out the website or call Ednna at Choc Bone Marrow donor services. Her number is 714-532-8702. With that, I bid you all a good night and a special note of gratitude to God and all of you...xoxo,Kim
April 14, 2007
"for You all"
Re: Life
I can't ever describe the kind of strength I get from Chase. He has been given this time on earth to teach us all that survival of the fittest is an understatement. He is stubborn and relentless on his pursuance of life. I feel so guilty that I ever questioned the longevity of his life. Come visit, but be clear of infection and/or illness. You will meet a man who is long ahead of his years.
I love you Chase...xoxo,Mom
Kim/mom/daughter/xwife
April 11, 2007
"Recent news"
12:00 p.m FYI: The medical doctor who examined Chase on Monday was not familiar with the site of the rhabdo and ordered the cat scan of the neck. After concurring with our oncologist, the cat scan was cancelled.. It's all good... xoxo, Kim
10:02 a.m One round of chemo down, hallelujah. Chase was in such pain on Monday (from the mouth sores) that the oncologist put him on a pain push so he could push a button and get the pain med. He needed more so they added the pain drip. Today, Wednesday, April 11, he has requested the removal of the pain drip and states he is feeling better. Another cheer for getting better. If the sores aren't gone by next Monday, they will biopsy them. A lump was identified where Chase had the rhabdo so a cat scan has been ordered. We are remaining optimistic about these issues and Chase is a champion of spirits.
He is grateful that he isn't doing school work at the moment. I'll be lowering the 'boom' next week, depending on his health, because obviously we want him to stay at grade level if he can. Last night, Chase ate TGIF's chicken fingers and fries and kept it all down. Let's do the wave. He did have a plethora of chocolate the day before and threw all his day's intake in the bowl when one of his friends came to visit. They actually had a chuckle over it. It makes me nervous to be overly positive but I will take any moment my son is in a good mood, out of terrible pain, off that nasty chemo, and resting comfortably. May good news continue. The only annoying news I have is over the malfunctioning heart machine that literally went off every 2 minutes last night and currently with a 'choo-choo' alarm. Anyway, Chase is catching up on last night's lost sleep by snoozing now.
God bless all of you and thanks again for your prayers. We'll know this week if Corey's bone marrow is a match....He's getting blood and platelets daily so all of you who are donating blood, it's running through Chase's body as we speak...They don't give us your names but you know who you are and much appreciation for the gift of life.
April 08, 2007
"Happy Easter!"
What a perfect day to share some good news. Chase has today and tomorrow to finish the first round of chemo. He has had 3 nights without throwing up or diarrhea. He ate an order of fried macaroni and a chocolate bunny yesterday. We are watching 'Happy Feet' as I write and Chase is having a good morning. Your prayers have brought us a nice Easter morning. Chase is even chomping on some sour candies.
The blasts(the leukemia cells) are at a zero which was the desired outcome from this nasty chemo treatment. As you know, these results will be short lived if we were to discontinue the treatment protocol. Leukemia today has been knocked out and would return quickly without further harsh chemo. Starting this Tuesday, Chase will have 3-4 weeks here at CHOC, his counts will be alarmingly low meaning he will be vulnerable to infection and bleeding. He will continue to stay on ICU for the month. Then, God willing, Chase will get to go home for 2 days to mentally prepare for re-admission to ICU to start it all over again. We will repeat these 3 to 4 segments. After that, he will have the bone marrow transplant and be hospitalized for the following 3 months.
I am getting the sense that during the chemo portions, visits should cease because he's either sleeping or sick. Other than that visits that are scheduled with me should be fine unless, of course, there is any hint of virus or infection. Also, no visits from persons under 12, as per ICU rules. By the way, Chase still has his hair which contradicts the information we received. I look at this as a symbol that Chase is going to prove those poor odds and turn it around to a favorable outcome. You'd all be so proud of his perseverance. He has taught me already so much in the last week and a half. Here's to a beautiful day to you and your loved ones. xoxo,Kim
April 06, 2007
"Latest Update on Chase"
The highs and the lows...After having such a rough time, Chase had his best night thus far. He had no diarrhea or vomiting. He slept much of the night minus the annoying interruptions in the night. He had an ekg due to his lowered heart rate. He ate a half a bag of cheetos and some candy. Most parents would be appalled at this form of nutrition, but we are so grateful that he was able to take in any food and the nurses agree. For those who wish to donate blood to the CHOC blood donor program located at 505 La Veta first floor, Chases's blood type is A positive. As far as visits go, we are open for people who know Chase and are comfortable with the level of sickness they may witness. Dan and I will continue to work, although many fewer hours. Don't feel obliged to take a 'watch' shift as Chase is in for a long haul with treatment and there will be several opportunities to help.All visits need to go through me as to not duplicate times. We'll keep you posted. The best gift, at this point, is to pray for a miracle. Happy Easter. xoxo,Kim
"April 5, 6pm UPDATE ON CHASE "
Yesterday, Chase had a reprieve from the vomiting and diarrhea. When nightfall came, our nightmare became a reality. Dan was with Chase and said it was his worse night ever. When I got here this morning, Chase looked so sick that it made me immediately well up. He was admitted 9 days ago at 148 pounds. He weighed in yesterday at 130 pounds. He gets the chills easily and spent the day with the bowl in his lap as he continued to vomit acidy bile. The good news, Kyle flew in from San Francisco today and Corey drove up from Santa Barbara. One of my darkest moments as I watched my oldest son see his little brother in such a state. We both held back our tears as we have to be strong for Chase. Both Corey and Kyle are decorating the windows with washable markers and that keeps their minds on something else. The family together met with a clinical psychologist but there was not a lot of interaction. None of the boys are really expressing their grief publicly. All the boys are so afraid and pained by Chase's illness, as we all are. Chase is currently playing a game on play station. Dan, Cody and Grandma Sue are here. You'd all be so proud of me, I managed to sneak all of us up in the room despite the 3 person rule. I will stay tonight and everyone will go home. In the quiet of the night, I will let myself cry for the deterioration of my son. I am so grateful for all the prayers and kind gestures. More later..xoxo,Kim
"4/3/07 P.M. : UPDATE ON CHASE "
Chase has been again moved to an isolated room on the ICU oncology floor,room 307. He is weak, and has been vomitting frequently. He stopped eating 3days ago. We have the best of staff and they are doing all in their power to help him with his pain and discomfort. We finished day 4 of hard chemo- 6 more to go. His red and white counts, as well as his platelets are extremely low. There are no visits at the present time due to his vulnerability to infection. You can text him anytime and ask if he wants a visit, but we will have to take measures to create the safest environment for him. He will be losing his hair by the end of the week. God bless all of you for your continued support, love and prayer. xoxo,Kim
"4/2/07: UPDATE ON CHASE4/2/07: UPDATE ON CHASE "
Chase has been moved to the oncology ICU due to the severity of the chemo. He will need more staff supervision. He was seen by an infectious disease specialist who has requested a catscan for sinus concerns. No visitors at this time please. Please keep Chase in your prayers.
"4/1/07: UPDATE ON CHASE CRAWFORD QUICKEL "
Chase Crawford Quickel has been diagnosed with Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML) It is extremely life threatening; He will be hospitalized for 4-6 months. During this time he will be home a total of 12 days, spread out during the 4-6 month period, for a mental health reprieve. Chase has begun chemotherapy. Come back periodically for an update from the family.
For urgent matters only, contact Grandma Sue:
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Phone #: 949-580-2751
Thank you, and please keep Chase in your prayers.
